The Vision, The Struggles, and The Hope for Love: A Journey Toward Building a Life I’m Proud Of

“The life I want to build is one that isn’t just about success and accolades; it’s about building a family, creating memories, and sharing the beauty of life with those who matter most.”

From a young age, I’ve always had this burning vision for my life—this relentless drive to create something that not only excites me but makes an impact on the world around me. I was laser-focused on my career, pouring every ounce of energy into building something from the ground up that I could look at one day and say, “I did that.” The plan, or rather the dream, was always clear: to build a life that would eventually lead to a family—a legacy that could be shared, nurtured, and enjoyed together. God willing, a partner and children would one day walk alongside me in this journey.

I can’t explain where this vision came from, but it was always there, deep in my bones. It’s why I chose the late nights over spontaneous hangouts, the long days working and studying over downtime, and the sacrifice of immediate gratification for long-term goals. I wanted a life that I could be proud of—a life where my hard work meant something bigger than just me.

But somewhere along the way, I lost track of something really important: love.

I’ve always been a real and honest person. In business, I’ve prided myself on being straightforward and genuine—no games, no facades, just authenticity. And in love, I’ve always tried to wear my heart on my sleeve, honest about what I want and what I can give. But for some reason, I’ve never quite allowed myself to give love a fair chance until recently. I focused so much on the vision of what I thought my life was supposed to look like that I left little room for the thing I wanted the most—companionship. I’ve been so consumed by career goals, by proving to myself and the world that I could build this life, that I overlooked the fact that the journey doesn’t mean nearly as much without someone to share it with.

The last year, however, has been a wake-up call. I’ve stepped into the realm of dating and tried to open my heart to the possibility of finding a partnership. But, man, has it been tough. The relationships I’ve been in—well, they haven’t worked out, and honestly, I’m struggling to find the balance between all the ambition and a relationship that doesn’t feel like a burden. There’s been a lot of failed communication, a lot of frustration, and a sense of loss.

It’s painful to admit, but sometimes it feels like I’m just not getting it right. And in the midst of all of this, I’m reminded of something that keeps nagging at me: What’s the point of building a life that you’re proud of if there’s no one to share it with?

What is all this work for, this hustle, these long hours spent chasing success, if you don’t have the one person to share those victories with? If there’s no family to gather around the table, no spouse to turn to at the end of the day, no children to pass on the wisdom and lessons you’ve learned along the way—then what is it all for?

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but one that has been pushing me to reflect deeply on my priorities. In my quest for success, I’ve been so focused on what I wanted to build that I forgot about what I wanted to experience along the way. Sure, business ventures are thrilling, and career accomplishments are rewarding, but at the end of the day, life is about connection—relationships with others, and especially love.

But love, for me, hasn’t always been the easiest thing to embrace.

As someone who grew up in the absence of a father, I’ve often felt the weight of that loss—an emptiness I didn’t even know how to fill. There’s a part of me that has always feared letting someone into my heart because I feared I wasn’t worthy of being loved. I’ve given love to others in abundance, but it’s never been easy to receive it. That fear of being vulnerable, of being hurt again, has kept me at arm's length from fully embracing what I truly need: love, from someone who sees me, who values me—not just what I can do for them.

The scarier thing, though, is letting myself truly believe that I am worthy of that kind of love. In the past, I’ve been burned by relationships where I gave my all, and the returns were lackluster or painful. Yet, it was through God’s grace and guidance that He allowed me to have a revelation—one that changed everything. I realized, "If I could love the wrong one with so much passion, imagine how much I could love the right one." That truth has allowed me to open my heart, little by little, to the possibility of love—real love, genuine love. And while it’s still a scary journey, I know now that I’m worthy of receiving it as much as I am capable of giving it.

But here’s the part that gets to me: In my life of men, they often don’t realize how great I am until they show me how horrible they can be. It’s as though I’ve always known their potential—how amazing, capable, and loving they could be, but it’s only when they show their flaws, their brokenness, their inability to meet me where I am—that I see the truth: Maybe I’ve been settling for less than I deserve.

I’ve given so much of myself to relationships that didn’t return the favor, trying to make something work, hoping that with enough effort, the right one would emerge. But what I’ve learned through all of this is that I deserve to be with someone who sees me for all that I am—not just for the love I give, but for who I am at my core. It’s tough realizing that I’ve been settling for people who didn’t value me the way I needed to be valued. But it’s also been a gift, because it’s shown me what I will not settle for anymore.

There’s something incredibly powerful about finding someone who is committed and upfront. When you meet someone who shows you they’re serious, that they want to be there for you and are willing to put in the effort—it feels amazing. It’s a breath of fresh air. But sometimes, I catch myself sabotaging that good thing, pushing it away because I’m afraid of letting someone in fully. I remind myself, though, that I am worthy of being loved in the same way I love others. I’m worthy of having someone pursue me, to be thoughtful and consistent, to show up when it matters. I deserve to be taken on dates, to have someone open the door for me, to be treated with respect and affection, to have them travel hundreds of miles just to be with me—because I would do the same for them.

This isn’t asking for too much. It’s the very treatment I’m willing to give to my person. It’s the kind of love I want to share: deep, intentional, and full of effort. And it’s a reminder that I’m not settling for anything less than what I deserve. I’m done letting fear dictate my choices. I’m ready to let love in—real love, love that’s grounded in respect, in the same effort and commitment I give to the people I care about.

Even with the men who have failed me in the past, those who didn’t think I was worthy enough to commit to or introduce to their families, I still find that my love for them remains pure. I can honestly say that I wish them nothing but the absolute best. No ill intentions, no anger—just pure love. I pray that they find what they need in life, and if our paths were meant to cross to teach them something, then so be it. God only knows the bigger picture, and I trust His will is always better than my own.

Now, I’m learning to trust that God has a better plan. He’s allowing me to embrace this process of becoming whole, of being confident in my worth, and in knowing that the right love is out there—love that isn’t about trying to fix or change someone, but about building something real, something lasting, and something rooted in mutual respect, trust, and honesty.

So here I am, still working on my career, still chasing those dreams, but now with a new sense of understanding. The life I want to build is one that isn’t just about success and accolades; it’s about building a family, creating memories, and sharing the beauty of life with those who matter most.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s the part I’ll be most proud of—when I can finally look back at all I’ve built and realize that love was always the foundation. I am worthy of love, and I will never stop believing that there’s someone out there who will see me for who I am and love me just as fiercely in return.