The Day I Choose Jesus

God’s love is not a love of conditions but rather a love of commitment! Say, Yes to him and watch your heart be completely transformed.

Hello Everyone! My name is Paige. I was born and raised here in East Dubuque. I am currently pursuing an Associates Degree in nonprofit leadership also while founding and operating my biggest dream as Director of our  501(c)3 nonprofit organization called The Boundless Trailer were we work too bridge the gap between hurting individuals and basic life necessities and the main outworking of that is through our mobile resource center! And then for my ' ‘day job” I do the Marketing and Branding for Van’s in East Dubuque. I have been coming to River Cityfor just over a year and I am a part of the Pepin small group! 

I grew up in a household where we knew who Jesus was but as relationships in my life progressed my perspective of Jesus became tainted and my relationship with him was completely condonditional. I was placed in situations that made me believe this “JESUS” thing was WAY TO GOOD TOO BE TRUE. That mindset formed after years of toxic and painful circumstances that surround my relationship with my earthly father. Addiction, Abuse, and Anger formed in the very center of my life creating a void. I fought to rebuild, to please, to be seen and heard, to simply be  loved with no results. 

Always leaning on myself and my own actions to fix this messy and painful situation but always coming up short. I began to believe the lies that I was unworthy, unlovable, and a failure pushing me further and further away from a personal relationship with Jesus. Because how could JESUS possibly love this broken and useless girl when her own father couldn’t. I was directly correlating my  relationship with my earthly father in how my relationship with my heavenly father would be and I could not bear another tragedy like that. So, I decided to reject the invitation to a relationship with Jesus and do things my way. Chasing people's approval, trying to fit into the status quo, altering my appearance, working long and strenuous hours to become the most successful student and employee, never showing vulnerability, and isolating myself completely. After pursuing these personal ambitions:

I finally reached a point in my life where I realized I needed something more. I no longer needed another person that only wanted me with conditions. But rather I needed a Savior, a Provider, a Protector, and ultimately a Father who would love me unconditionally... and the only one who can be those things for me is Jesus...…. So I accepted the invitation from Jesus with no conditions.

Sometimes people talk about a specific moment where it all clicks but I don’t believe I had that rather I had a thousand little moments. From the missions trips were i got to witness firsthand what it is like to put your undivided trust into Jesus and build a personal relationship with him in the midst of devastation or the Christian concert where I heard the exact message my heart so desperately had been longing for years  or the people who came into my life to guide and silently pray for me, or the church that showed me the love of Christ through every interaction. 

Each time I reflect back on a situation that I used to feel so broken and alone in. I am now able to identify Jesus in the midst of it all. I no longer have an earthly perspective but rather an eternal perspective. One where I can forgive, love, and extend grace even in the midst of desperation and hurt. I no longer find my worth in my skillset or accomplishments but rather who I am too Jesus, his daughter. I now have eyes that can see Jesus moving in my own lives and the lives around me. I can finally rest in truth that there is nothing I can do to repay the debt that Jesus took for me or the fact that nothing I can do will make him love me less or more…. He didn’t die on the cross for the perfect made up version of me who had life figured all out. Rather the girl who has battle wounds and so often feels unqualified. My life will forever be transformed! And I am so thankful for the sacrificial love that Jesus displayed beautifully on the cross for you and me! I am thankful that he CHOOSES ME EVERYDAY! 

So, today I am extremely excited to be publicly choosing HIM! Choosing to trust, honor, serve him and giving him every aspect of my life from finances, to my career, and the most challenging of them: my relationships"

And spoiler alert: It is not too good to be true rather Jesus loves is so GOOD that there is nothing that can even come close to it! So accept the invitation!